Badly summarize everyone

Hello IDK what to do so lets badly summarize everyone. With some songs also. I am lazy so i fucked off to here instead of the main character pages.

Gen system used instead of Worlds bc its easier to keep track of.

These are the things you need to know in case I die

NF
Just read the main page goddamit. adkfajdsfklajsdflkasjdflaksdfj;asdklfajsdfklas;djfkalsd;jfsakdlf;jasdklfjasdklfajsdfl

"Rachie" (F)
An actress who quit to become a teacher at 25 for...reasons. Same thing but she's also Unova champion.
 * Rachie (Centralverse)

Taylor Lylac (Golden Key/Lilo)
The OG Taylor Lylac. Became a vampire after eating some flower (hence the "Jona eating marigolds" thing, although The Lilo isn't a marigold). Wintergreen's roommate. A mechanic. Has really puffy gradient purple hair.
 * Point Taylor B. Amethyst (Rainy Town)

Michaelis Zeppeli
WHEN THEY SAY "THE ZEPPELIS ALWAYS DIE FOR THE JOESTARS" IT DOESN'T ALWAYS MEAN IT'S BECAUSE THEY WANT TO.

ahem

"Not worrying" apparently counts as a superpower now, because that's pretty much all he teaches Joyce.

idk what he really looks like anymore i mean there was the old design from like three years ago but it looks weirdly similar to joseph joestar so

Aloysius Fermi
Some kids discover porn. This one discovers nuclear launch codes and the fact that he probably exists because the Godhead isn't smart enough for him. IQ in the 160s, 13 years old and in 10th grade, rather arrogant. Likes explosions, controversial debates and aliens. Is spoiled by his parents but not in a "here's 200 bucks cause I love you" kind of way. It's more of a "here's 200 bucks so you can shut up".

Allied with Michaelis T over the internet for some reason. Walked up to Linda (who gives zero shits about rivalry in general) and said, "I'm you're new rival". Has a stand, Neutral Milk Hotel. No one really knows what it does yet, only that it looks like two hairpins and once peeled his skin off. probably related to nukes. Spends the rest of his life making giant dish-shaped topographical anomalies in the middle of a desert.

Blah blah something something Fermi paradox something Equatorial Guinea something about Donald Trump. He is also scared of sleepaway camp and Donkey Kong.

Fun fact: Cogworker was supposed to be named Aloysius, and his name was Jason in the original.

He also dies by getting cut in half vertically. Dies in the place of Zeppeli.

btw everything he says he's gonna do (blow up the world n shit) is only hypothetical. he acts like the guy who triggers people for fun but??????? its just a prank breh hes actually 3pure

Ren Glassred (Base Reality)
Firs introduced as the sociopathic NEET villain protagonist of ELDER APEX intent on killing his older brother to rid the Rainy Town of its fantastic racism and...wait, this sounds familiar. Older brother dies, blah blah blah, a giant rock that catches on fire, blah blah blah, he survives via the power of 4000 but people hate him enough to turn him invisible. He dies four more times and keeps coming back, then spends a thousand years travelling the world fighting random battles for random strangers in order to redeem himself and eventually aging in reverse so he's a twelve year old with only one eyeball. He would later die of a cold while being beaten with jumper cables that broke his arms and sucking. By sucking, I mean at life. At least he's dead permanently now. I guess that's what he wanted.

Also he has a more OP version of Sangreluna but it doesn't matter because he was banned from using it.

Once some dead people gave him mind control powers also.

4000 Ren Glassred was an actual lion, modern Ren Glassred is just five feet of "fuck the government". When I said that Base Ren Glassred died from a cold I kind of lied. That one actually died in a fight. Now this Ren Glassred, on the other hand, dies from accelerated aging the moment he is freed from his "eternal" torture.
 * Ren Glassred (Stray Tangent)

His stand, Imagine Dragons, based on a dream, is like Superfly, but it defies time, and it's a train that makes people stupid. People includes the user. Defying time isn't a good thing always (see: cause of death). Once it caused a meteor shower of yam-looking thingies and the only source of protection is Ash Ketchum hats.

Train is train of thought. Some random girl dies on it as a metaphor. Then he sleeps for a really long time before realizing there are murderous clones everywhere.

Alternatively ID is not a stand at all, just some random glitch. "THIS IS!! FUCKING!! PRETENTIOUS!! BULLSHIT"
 * Hopeless Opus

The self-proclaimed "conductor" of Imagine Dragons who may or may not be considered Ren's second stand. The one who proposed running people over with it. May or may not exist due to the stand's memory-corrupting properties, bearing similarities to pre-Stray Tangent Ren.

There was one part about him screaming in German but it was removed because it would make him seem too DIO-like, and y'all know Leechpin is the OTDC (One True Dio Clone).

He !! Likes !! Ice cream cake !! Very !! Much !! and he looks kinda like Emilia (similar hats, color schemes, and Edgy Art Style). Actively trying to kill Ren, fails every time.

Gets run over by the train. This erases normal Ren from existence.

If you can name your kid Funny you can name yourself Hopeless, fight me.

Amygdala
Ren Glassred's childhood friend who does nothing except have to be rescued by him in annoyingly irrelevant, simple situations and talk about how much she likes him.. Extremely timid and also extremely useless. No powers unless "wielding a chainsaw that operates by real-life mechanics and not bad horror movie ones" counts as a power. Muster up enough strength to fight SAM!! the Assassin anyway. Wins. The thing is Ren is already dead, but that doesn't matter, because Rising just likes him that much.

Joke's on her, Ren is gay.

Also she was called Discord at some point. SAM!! was probably decapitated except. That happens. Way. Too. Much.

Worked at a shitty fast-food restaurant for most of her life.

Also all the above information only applies to one universe. In the other one she suffers the exact same fate is Baseverse Zira, but the scummy children are adopted and/or vaporized out of nowhere.

We're still not exactly sure whether she kills The King or Base Reality SAM!!.

"Mirai" (F)
Debuts as a Sonic fangirl. Hacks Sonic games and sells them online. Has numerous more useful counterparts.

Alessandro "Ales" Lombardi
Also referred to as Orange Felix, Redundant L, or Weeb Johnny. A reformed internet troll with a huge crush on his best friend and rival (Dex). Is most infamous for hosting "The Oppression Olympics" (and then declaring himself the winner) and pretending to support the alt-right (despite being a pansexual paraplegic himself).

Lived a large amount of his life on a private island near Alola. Set off to pursue a career as a Pokemon trainer but was halted by discovery of his PC-box corrupting glitch. Spinal chord injuries happened that day. Discontinued training path, became a coordinator instead. Is pretty good at it.

Self-aware weeaboo with a thing for classic literature. Likes moe. Is largely considered a joke character within the Centralverse, but he, you know, erases shit from existence sometimes.

Repeatedly implied to be from the first universe Magnum Opus erased, in which Ultra Beasts were commonplace, but was rescued by FLOWERMETAL's avatar Papercuts and wiped clean of all memories. Alternatively, the universe still exists, with Ales possessing a glitch allowing him to control its "position" via movement.

Things got really, really weird around four o'clock, with several timelines branching off based only on his decisions. At least four arcs were also created because of it.

he live on spaghetti bred

Quadrant Quartile
"If you had one more brain cell, it would be lonely."-Quadrant

The official Most Normal Character (with no glitches except mild Chavez Syndrome, which almost everyone has). Met Honey in college, are now friends. Majors in psychology. Likes to insult people. Has roast battles against Honey, usually emerging victorious. Fights with a broken pipe. Is kind of like Senjougahara but thicc. There are a shit ton of jokes about them and the stone mask. Uses a lot of tumblr.

Pangloss
Not to be confused with the Fifthist deity. Locke Carter's Gatekeeper. Can shift between human-looking and TV-headed forms.

Point Morgan A. Wintergreen (Rainy Town)
At first he seems like a pretty chill guy who just wants to play video games and stuff. Then he kills Luce's Hawlucha and it all goes to shit from there. Wants to be the first to find Redial City.

There was one part where his job was listed as "Pro Dog Kicker" but he doesn't really kick dogs, he punches birds. Also steals Taylor's first kiss. Is always weirdly calm.

Ilse Herman
"NO"-Ilse Herman.

Also gets called "Abby" a lot. Building something called The Fifth World (has nothing to do with Fifthism), roughly the size of the current Fantemverse (whatever time the current time may be), but is a 100% original story. This is why it will hopefully never become anything other than hypothetical. Has crippling fear they will die before it is finished, and thus locked themselves in some tiny cabin in the middle of nowhere refusing to read any book that isn't ripped and running a YouTube channel

Is kind of right about the dying (see: SARKIC HOGWARTS ZOMBIES STORY, Brain Tomatoes).

Was one of R.E.M.'s vessels but mercy killed the user )))))))gggg). Alternative theory: she is ))))))))gggg's alternate form.

Josephine Ethel Joestar-Heller
George Joestar's sister. Has something against g8keepers. Looks sort of like Jonathan. Moved to America when she was 20.

Appears a lot in Crungus Brick Sacrifice Videos doing things like trying to shoot Jonathan/push him off the roof/drop a chandelier on him/etc. Can summon Brain Tomatoes.

Eventually has a child. Wants child to grow up to be an evil-fighting stand user. JoJo's stand. It looks like a humanoid deer but who knows what it actually does.
 * Yuri-G

Fake people
Technically multiple characters but all are included here for the sake of simplicity.
 * Fake Will
 * Fake Yui
 * Fake Fyodor

Jonathan Joestar
F U C K Y E A H I N F I N I T E R E G E N

Just

fuck yeah infinite regen and dream logic

Unlike Eddie the Edgelord, ERGO EGO, Ren, etc. he isn't really supposed to be creepy, instead he's meant to be badass. We may or may not have failed at that. THE WHOLE POINT OF THE THING WAS THAT HE GETS TURNED INTO A VAMPIRE INSTEAD OF DIO. SOMEHOW. THE SAME REASON RACIST TOMATO=SERVANT. Is eternally twelve years old, much like Ren and ERGO EGO. Seriously what the fuck is up with all these eternal twelve year olds.

Was eventually possessed by his tongue which turned into a slug. Was turned into a worm along with the rest of the world's population.
 * Worm Jona